End of term-itus

I have end of termitus. It's a common complaint amongst teachers, leading to disinterest in marking, tiredness, and outbreaks of worksheets or "Golden Time"

I'll tell you what it's like.

In the morning, when I get up at around 6am, I head downstairs, in the dark, leaving my OH and my Adorable Child asleep.

The second my foot hits the bottom step both the cat and the guinea pig start. The cat wants water. He always wants water. We've had him checked, it's just the way he is. The Guinea pig wants whatever is going, preferably twice. They both keep up the incessant noise until they have what they want.

And then the cat starts again just so that I know he wants to go out.

I may or may not have chance to find my clothes and get dressed before the AC appears, all bleary eyed in the doorway. He also begins his day with requests for food (pancakes) drink (blackcurrant) and 'tellis' which is what he has always called the television. He is perfectly capable of saying television, he just chooses not to. We have the same conversation which we have every day, where I say "Go and get your clothes from your tomorrow drawer" and he says "Do I have to do that before I can watch Tom and Jerry?" and I say "You have to get dressed before you watch Tom and Jerry" and he says "Will you help me?" and I say "Yes, but you better be quick, I've got lunches to do."

He eventually stumbles up the stairs, and reappears with his clothes.

I go and tell the OH that it is 6.45, and he grunts at me.

The AC and I get him dressed, the OH appears, and stumbles into the shower.
I begin the pack lunches (two currently, three in January when the AC is full time) and then the request for pancakes is repeated, and I realise I've forgotten to feed my son, (baaaaad mummy!) so I do those, and then realise I haven't made a coffee for the OH, so I start that, and then realise I haven't finished the lunches, so I do his, tell myself I'll get something from the school canteen, and go and get dressed.

After some more of this sort of thing, we're done. The OH heads out around 7,20, we head out around 7.40 after a calmer time of "Where's your book bag, did we read last night" and so on.

The AC and I walk to school, and that is the magical part of my morning. We have 15 minutes just for us. I'll do another blog on that walk one day.

But school then becomes a repeat of the morning. "Have you got the figures for this? have you got the resources for that? You're the ICT coordinator, where are the batteries/bee-bots/roamers? What programme do I use to teach this - can you show me how to do it? I need it at 9."

And then the bell goes, and the children line up, and the parents start "He hasn't got X" "She hasn't done her homework" "We didn't get a letter about Y"

Eventually I get them indoors (usually *without* seeing the parents I *need* to see) and then the children start. "He's got my book" "What is the good morning work?" "My reading book isn't in my book bag"

And the day continues from there.

Y'see, when I don't have end of termitus, I can say "Yes, here's your pancakes, lunch is ready, use the paint programme with the stampers, your book is in your drawer."

When I do have end of termitus, what I want to say is "Am I bovvered?"

"It's your lunch, you make it."
"It's your ICT lesson, you prep it."
"It's your book, you find it."

Obviously, the cat, the pig, and the AC still need their needs met, but honestly, that's what it's like.

And don't get me started on the Christmas performance. In fact do, and I'll blog it over the weekend.

Weird week!

Well this week was an odd one and no mistake!

Monday - start of rehearsals for the Christmas assembly. Which is turning into a performance. Which lead to me playing the guitar and singing for 3 hours, more or less. How accessible was this for the ASDer's? Well, it's interesting. One of the aspie children has a good reading part. One is acting, and doing it jolly finely. The others are in my class and are singing. The other 3 children at the other end are shepherds. This could be very, very interesting on the day, as we won't be in the school hall, we'll be in church, we won't be in exactly the same places, we'll be in slightly more room, the acoustics will be different and so on. We'll see.
My 2 stayed for some of the rehearsals, but had difficulty sitting still for 3 hours (funnily enough!)

Tuesday - PPA in the afternoon. And I didn't teach in the morning, but I can't remember why.

Wednesday - I was monitoring my subject in the morning, except I wasn't as the person I was supposed to be monitoring wasn't able to teach the subject in the time I had, and besides, I was helping to sort out the mouse problem. Yep. I have furry visitors. And, the cheeky things have ignored the biscuits in my desk (essential for team meetings) and nibbled my lovely feelings stamps which I got from somewhere fabulous last year. Children can use them to stamp their emotions on paper when they can't explain them. My T.A's and I discussed that we at least knew how the mouse was feeling. He was not confused, not angry, not sad, but neither was he happy or excited. Mouse was sorry. That was the one he had nibbled all the way around.

However, as the day progressed I got poorlier and poorlier and went home in the afternoon. Poorly ill sick. Man flu. I was in such a state by the end of the evening that my OH phoned my Deputy Head to say I wouldn't be there.

Thursday - On the sofa all day, having my brain melted by the likes of Maury, America's Next Top Model, Top Gear (which was good) and learning how to make the perfect sponge cake from Rachel's Favourite Foods. Oh and some Rick Stein sea food stuff. The children went on a trip. That is another post though.

Friday - Went back to school, as I felt better. BIG mistake as by 1.30 pm I was writing on the board for my children to read as I had no voice. NONE. Which is where I am at now. No voice.

If it's like this at the end of tomorrow, Sunday, then my OH will be phoning to say I'm not in. Last time I had this (in Feb) it was 5 days. But this is not the time to do this. This is Christmas term, performances await, I have to teach some songs and so on. And besides, this is the one week of the year that I can ignore the timetable and we can have some FUN!

I refuse to be ill!

Sentences I dread

"Could he be autistic or something?"

The number of times that I have heard this statement from parents is unreal. Usually it's because the child has been in trouble a number of times and the parents want a reason. Some want an excuse. Some want to label the child with a problem so that they can cure him, so they have something to attack. The stereotypical view of autists, courtesty of Rainman and his ilk, gives them something that they can use. "Well, someone with autism would be naughty wouldn't they?" (Sometimes ASD children choose to interact with the world in this way, yes!) "Maybe he didn't understand you, he wouldn't if he was autistic." (Could be true, but not in this case)

Parents don't want to hear "Nope, he's just been naughty and he needs to stop it."

Or "He just doesn't understand how to do x, but he'll get there." It's as if having a label will make it better.

"He needs more help. Can't he have an adult of his own like other children do?"

I love this one. As if the statementing process didn't take most of a child's school life to complete, and as if there was all the money in the world. And yes, having his own adult would help because she could tell him to stop talking and leave his neighbour alone, and repeat things because he's not listened, and underline things for him because he finds that hard and so on.


"Here's his dinner money, can you do it for him?"

Yes I can, but if you are a perfectly able to do it for your self child, then why am I going to pamper you this way? These children need to grow up and be organised for themselves. I know that there are children who have a genuine difficulty, but not most of the class! Grrr!

"I don't want him to do X."

I don't want him to do it either. Take it up with the Education Secretary. I would love to be able to set my own curriculum and topic and so on. I can't. I am not allowed. Many and varied apologies for this!

"He came home with nits last night, what are you going to do about it?"

Comb my hair. Tell the children that someone has them. (Usually I say it's me - the percieved stigma is lessening in my class through this!) Comb my hair. Remind them to tie hair up. Comb my hair. Can you see the pattern?

And now it's 8am. On a Saturday. I have marked the literacy books, fed the washing machine, fed the tumble drier and refed the washing machine. Oh, and I cried through Homebirth Diaries, then cussed through 'Bringing baby home'. Talk about the two extremes!

Now I need a cup of tea and a rest. And to tidy the kitchen.

Laters people.